


my love is lying fast asleep

by lovemutt



Series: sit back and watch the world go by [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Heartbreak, No seriously don't read this if you haven't completed DA:I and Trespasser, Or if you know what's happened go ahead., Post-Break Up, Spoilers, Tresspasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23161441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemutt/pseuds/lovemutt
Summary: Elowyn Lavellan was devastated by Solas leaving, and that pain only got worse as time went on. She's changed now, for the worse.
Relationships: Female Inquisitor & Solas, Female Inquisitor/Solas (Dragon Age), Female Lavellan/Solas, Lavellan & Solas, Solas & Original Female Character(s)
Series: sit back and watch the world go by [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1413052
Kudos: 6





	my love is lying fast asleep

**Author's Note:**

> This is a pointless fic written at 1am when I couldn't sleep. It's sort of written in this weird third person perspective flipping around the timeline for relevant information, and it's more just giving backstory for Elowyn. You have been warned.

Elowyn Lavellan always thought she knew what was best for herself, always thought the Gods would lead her down the right path. Mythal's watch over her, may June leave her craft beautiful as ever, may the Dread Wolf never catch her scent and if he does may he lose it just as quickly. She thought she'd never stray, thought the inquisition helping her people while led by, well, her, would show them the elves could use them back, were worthy. She thought they and the Maker were the same.

But now? Gods, however fake they were, she had ruined that thought for herself. Her whole life was a lie, her beliefs, her vallaslin, all taken by that dreaded wolf. No matter how much she hated him, no matter how much she wanted to watch his plans fail and stand over him asking if it was worth it to fall again, Elowyn loved Solas. She'd spent so long with him, shared so much despite how reclusive he seemed, he'd shown her the light in an aching, twisting way, but he'd shown it. She thought that, perhaps, that’s what made this so hard, because she knew more than anyone that she was going to have to find him and stop him any way she could.

He thought the people of this world were monsters, nothing more than animals, he had called Quanari savages, spoke of the genocide he intended to carry out as nessecary, berated and belittled her people when all it would take were teachings, explanations, the proof he held in his existence.

She’d shouted this to him, as he stalked her dreams, the form of a wolf just out of reach and just far enough away she couldn’t reach him before the woods came unraveled and she was doomed to another restless night. Elowyn had shouted as to what violence would cause in the beginning, eyes filled with tears that never quite fell in the hazy mist of her dream, and Solas would always turn, run into the darkness and leave her alone again, and again, and again.

She started asking for help to ward dreams off, no dreams and no Solas, because staring at the ceiling all night while too scared to sleep knowing she’d be forced to go through heartbreak again was becoming too much. Vivienne asked her to meditate, tried to help her relax, but Elowyn grew more and more agitated to the point Vivienne dared to seek out their friends for help as well. Dorian suggested a potion he’d heard of, but after a week Elowyn came back in tears and said it had stopped working.

The soft, gentle Inquisitor they’d grown to love was disappearing before their very eyes, something thought impossible from a woman who lost her arm and still hauled herself to the Winter Palace and ended the debates with the last firm hand she had. Solas had left her to die, murmuring about how she was his only love, and while they had seen the despair in her eyes… it was becoming worse and worse.

Over the months they planned, trying to track down Solas, remarking on the disappearances of the elves, Eloywn became bitter. Her eyes stopped holding a gentleness, her touch was no longer caring, her voice was hissed and full of rage. Elowyn no longer took naps in the sun, no longer spoke with Cole and helped take hurt away, instead she would stay locked in the war room or her chambers, staring at a map that made the world look so, so small, and wondering just how fast she could find Solas and stop him.

She remembered whispering about saving him as he left her to die, nose turned up at the primitive Dalish he said he loved, but the want to save him was contorted and blackened to be vengeful, and Elowyn Lavellan no longer wanted to save Solas-- No, she wanted to stop him, and when Leliana first sorrowfully told the elf that doing so might mean killing him, her gaze turned sharp, her expression grim, and she said one word that made even the Nightingale take pause.

“Good.”


End file.
